Finding Gratitude Outside the box

We know we are supposed to practice gratitude. 🙏🏼
We know it’s good for us. 💖

But why do we have such a hard time following through with it?

I want to share with you why practicing gratitude thinking outside the box will ensure that you stick with it which will brighten everyday of your life. I’m gonna give you the magic 3 ways to make sure gratitude sticks in your life!!

When we practice gratitude, what is the first thing we typically go to? Our Family right?!?

Sometimes our Job? Not always but a lot of the time because we are glad we can pay our bills.

Sometimes our income? Well again usually because we are happy we can pay for our groceries.

But why do we have such a hard time doing it? Well maybe because we have a hard time finding what we are truly grateful for.

I’m here to help you think outside the box and make it so simple to do and better yet make it a habit!

The reason I brought up this subject this week is that I have friends who have been devastated by the California fires and mudslides. They have been in the thick of it completely. And here is the worst part. They can’t seem to watch the rest of the world happy. I know I am not speaking for all of them but I did read a friend of mines post about such feelings.

It’s hard!! So hard!! But if we can find the smallest way to be grateful, we can slowly pull yourself out of the dark 💖

So I want you to find these 3 ways to find gratitude easy and impactful.

1 – **Place** – Where is your favorite place to sit and be yourself? Where is it that makes you warm and cozy? A place that makes you feel all the feels. For me it’s my bedroom. Last year I spent a month building my bed to mimic the Westin Heavenly Bed and let me tell you, it’s my favorite place in the house. I would spend all day in there if I could.

So find just one place you are GRATEFUL for and remind yourself of that one place everyday.

2 – **Person** – I’m talking a person in your life who is not your family. Choosing family members is easy but sometimes they are so close to you that it is just a given. We are all grateful for family. That doesn’t challenge you to find actively gratitude in a place that stops you in your tracks.

This year has been the biggest personal struggle of my life and I found that friends that were not close in the past SHOWED UP in my life when I least expected.

If I am struggling, I just have to think of ONE of them. They are so special to me and if it weren’t for them I would still be crying in my car everyday.

Find that one person!! Share this blog post with them, let them know!

3 – **Time** – Seems kind of odd to put time right ?! *Hear me out*. A lot of time we tell ourselves we are don’t have time to “get a massage” “get our hair done” “go to the gym”. Whatever it is, our first thought is NOPE! I don’t have time..

Guess what there is time, I guarantee you, in your day that you are grateful for.

Girlfriend I’m telling you!! What about the bathroom? Do you escape in the bathroom and spend a few extra seconds in there in peace? Is it your car? (Ok I’m just sharing with you my moments of time I LOVE everyday)

So why not be grateful for them???

Now think about it… spend some time shifting your upset or fearful thought and think “I am so grateful for the time I have in my car”

What is that tiny window of time you look forward to EVERYDAY?

Be grateful and recognize that time OFTEN! Thank the universe for it! ✌🏼

Here is my Coffee Talk Episode on my Facebook Page if you would like to hear more about this message

 

Finding The Quiet in Your Head

You are at work finishing a project…or my case at work in the middle of a surgery when all of us sudden these thoughts come bombarding your head.

:::Like uninvited fireworks exploding. 💥

PEW PEW PEW ⚡️

“ I have to pay my taxes”

“I have to schedule an eye appointment for Sasha”

“I wish I could focus on work”

“Why do I always do this to myself”

“I am so on organized”

“I will never get my shit together”

Your mind goes directly to these thoughts and you just can’t concentrate on what you’re really supposed to be doing.

I’m telling you iso happens to me just about everyday **I swear**!!

Guess what?!

There is a solution. I’m here to rescue you I promise {It took me rescuing myself first}. You know that term “take care of your own oxygen mask first before taking care of others”…… that’s what I did!

This is going to be so simple you are going to tell yourself. “Why didn’t I think of that?!”

1️⃣ When the thoughts come bombarding you. Take note! Notice they are intruding on your space and in your head. “Yes crazy thoughts I hear you!”

2️⃣ Now I want you to pick just one! Pick one of those thoughts that in your mind is the TOP PRIORITY. Notice what that ONE THOUGHT IS… and talk to it.

{yes just in your head or your coworkers are gonna think you’re nuts!}.

This is what I want you to tell it. “I recognize you thought /x/ and I promise you that I will focus on you on my next BREAK”

What this does is two-fold: it #1 distracts you from those 10 other thoughts that started firing #2 it allows you to organize your thoughts and take control of them.

3️⃣ Find your next BREAK. These are where mine typically are.

🌺 My Car before heading home ….*it’s where I do all my profound thinking *

🌺 My Car before the grocery store

🌺 My work breaks and lunches

🌺 The Shower

Now here’s a bonus for you. If you can’t find the focus during your break, find a playlist where you can concentrate for 10 minutes. I swear by this Kundalini Yoga Playlist…. it’s like my MAGIC PILL!

Let me know how you do?

Rather than by Default, Live Life Deliberately

When I was a senior in high school it was expected for me to go to college and get a degree. It wasn’t that I had to go to an Ivy League school it was just expected that that is what was in store for me. Go to college, get a degree in something and get a job. That’s what you did in the late 80s. There wasn’t even really any talk about what my passion was and what I wanted to “be” when I grew up.

So I applied to 2 colleges that were a couple hours away and got into both. I literally chose the college I attended based on the name of the city.

NORTHRIDGE

It sounded so fancy. No joke that’s why I chose the school!

So I graduated from high school. Got my student loans and left home. Stayed in a dorm in a commuter school and CHECKED OFF THE BOXES. Remember the requirements to graduate 👩🏽‍🎓. It was a checklist!

So for 5 years (yes it took me a year longer than most even going full time) I checked off boxes and finished with a degree.

Much to my surprise – I entered the workforce with a “J.O.B” – one that needed a degree on paper, but in reality did not need any special degree. Once again just went through the motions and collected a paycheck.

In my late teens and early 20s I literally lived my life by default. CHECKLISTS – and lots of I guess I’m supposed to do that moments.

Then I started to wake up, I started to think about what I would LIKE TO DO. WHAT SOUNDS FUN??

It was time for me to live deliberately!

This was before I was introduced to the Law of Attraction and living life with purpose.

According to Abraham Hicks – In order to live a life deliberately you need to begin to tell a DIFFERENT STORY of your life. You have to tell a story as you now want it to be and STOP 🛑 telling the tales of how it HAS BEEN or how it IS.

Tell the story you want to Experience!

To live deliberately, you have to think deliberately!

In your words, actions and and thoughts you must tell your story of how you want it to be. You have to FEEL GOOD while you tell it.

You have a split second to focus on the lack of what is missing OR choose to focus on what you WANT!

Here are some examples of what is or what is lack of vs what you want:

Health/Illness (absense of of health)
Happiness (absense of happiness)
Energetic/Tired (absense of energy)

I want to buy that vs I can’t afford that
I want to feel good vs I don’t feel good

I want to love my job vs I hate my job

We have a tendency to just tell it like it is. What is going on in our lives today.

But what if you changed the way you said things?

What if you told yourself

What You Wanted

How do we do this? How do we change our ways?

1. listen to what you tell yourself thoughout the day. Catch yourself in the middle of a statement that is contrary to what you want.
2. Tell yourself “clearly I know what I don’t want, but what is it that I want?”

Example:
I am fat
I want to fit into my jeans

My boss doesn’t appreciate me
I want to be appreciated

I can tell you I started practicing this naturally but yes of course as time goes by we tend to fall into our old ways. We tend to sabotage ourselves with negative talk.

Our days become consumed with what is lacking vs what we want in abundance.

Do you find yourself caught in this dilemma?

How to find Time Gaps in your day

How to find time gaps in your day

Anna Gray, RN

8 November 2017

Have you been guilty of saying “I don’t have any time to do anything let alone something for myself?

It’s so easy to fall into this trap saying “BUT…..

  1. I have to get up early to fix the kids breakfast
  2. Drive them to school
  3. Go to the grocery store
  4. Or Go to Work
  5. Pick them up, have them come home on the bus or have them in day care.
  6. Cook Dinner
  7. Bring them to Practice
  8. Make sure they Bathe
  9. Tuck them in
  10. Do your Laundry
  11. Maybe watch a little TV
  12. Maybe remember that you hadn’t taken a shower
  13. ……..and do it all over again

Guess what???

I am now going to be hard on you.

Let’s start with you my single momma.  #1 I know I don’t walk daily in your shoes and I absolutely know that you are doing DOUBLE THE WORK as anyone else.  But I am going to find you time.  I swear by it.  You will start to find those time gaps you are look for.  Those time gaps you need for yourself.  

Life is too short my friend to be tied completely to an agenda.  

You are not guaranteed tomorrow if you haven’t heard.

Let’s look at 24 hours in a day.  I am going share with you an example of my schedule so you can start to say to yourself throughout your day and ask yourself “what would Banana do?”

5:00am – alarm goes off

5:30am – roll out of bed

5:55am – have a cup of coffee

6:00am – leave the house for work

6:45am – clock into my shift

Could be 8am, could be 9am – 15 minute Break

Could be 10:30, 11:30, 12:30pm – 30 minute lunch break

Could be 1pm, 2pm, or none – 15 minute Break

7:15pm – Leave work

7:45pm – Home and dinner

8:30pm – 9:30pm – hang with my family, talk about the day, about any upcoming events, and give lots and lots of hugs

9:30 – 10:00 – Wind down for bed

10:30pm – Shower and bed

The Next Two Days do it all over again

Yes my husband brings the girls to school and picks them up on those days because it is just not possible with my schedule.

So I am going to show you that even on my busiest days I find a little “me” time.

5:25am – 5:36am – in my car listening to something uplifting.  Maybe a morning show, maybe a podcast or ebook.  But this mentally prepares me for the day. ..ME TIME!

8:15am – you know that 15 minute break I get at random times.  I take my cup of coffee and breakfast and sit by myself and listen to something uplifting.  For me it could be a business training or check in with my Club Members ….ME TIME!

12:00pm – that also rolling lunch break – It is a very tight 30 minutes for which I typically can be found outside the hospital soaking up the sun if its out while listening to something special or actually working on my business from my phone.  That 30 minutes is my focused time where no body bothers me…..ME TIME!

1pm Break – Same thing.  No need to mingle with work people, I need me time… so another trip outside to reach out to some friends and make me smile …… ME TIME!

10pm – Bedtime Shower……. I think about anything good that happened that day…. And do my best to only think of that…… ME TIME!

I just found you……….drumroll………..1 hour 30 minutes of ME TIME… even on my busiest of days.

I want you to note that on these days I don’t have the time or energy for a workout, I would love to but I am just keeping it real.   My sleep could also use an additional 1.5 hours a sleep these days.  But it is just not possible.

My other 4 days are off of work and include me taking over with mommy duties.

I’ll tell you some more great ways to find more time in your schedule if you are not working long days like these but clearly have issues with your time.

Kids Drop Pickup – get there 10 minutes early and play a personal development or humerous podcast

Laundry – ask around your local neighborhood groups if there is anyone looking for just a couple hours of work a week to do your laundry, fold it and put it away…….. This is a big secret and one that I will say I have been using for over 4 years…. I used to be embarassed to tell anyone that I did this but let me tell you it is by far the BEST $ I could ever spend…. Feel free to email me if you need suggestions on how to do this.

Kids Sporting Event – depending on the age of your kids.  If they are young and need you there.  Start building your own business.  You are able to watch your kids while you work on earning some extra part time income

I’ll tell you some more great ways to find more time in your schedule if you are not working long days like these but clearly have issues with your time.

Or

 

If they are older, go to YELP.COM and search Chinese Foot Massage…… and then thank me later…. 1 hour dirt cheap… and you feel like a whole new woman

 

Or

 

Go have coffee with a friend you haven’t seen in a while

 

Grocery Store – put those headphones in and listen to a podcast or a great Spotify Playlist.  Turn your mind off and stroll.

 

I have many more examples of where to find time gaps, if you would like my FINDING MY SELF CARE TIME GAPS TOOLBOX click here.

 

I think you are now equipped to find those spots of time where you will be tell yourself “what would banana do?”  and the next thing you know you will stop saying the words “I don’t have time”.  Your goal… remove them from your vocabulary my friend.

Why I opened a Facebook group called IdentityMe

Why I opened a Facebook group called IdentityMe

Anna Gray, RN

31 October 2017

My Journey to setting up an amazing Facebook Group

In August of 2017 I opened a Facebook Group named IdentityMe after going through the hardest self discovery year of my life.

You wake up one day and you are married for 19 years, have two daughters who are early teens and tweens, you have the house on the hill, the cars, the money in the bank and the one thing you discover you are lacking, your own Identity

What do I mean my Identity?

I mean that I clearly forgot the things I love.  I forgot the bands that I love to listen to, I forgot there were travel destinations on MY OWN bucket list.

I discovered I had morphed so much into a mom and a wife, I forgot about me. 

When I shared these things on my Facebook Page I discovered I was not alone.  I knew I needed to gather more women who were going through what I was going through and spend time with them, rediscovering ourselves.

This was the first group out of probably a hundred groups I have created that I was not going to be the teacher.  I was simply just one of the group.  I would be one going through the same things the rest of the group would be.

I knew I needed this group but since it wasn’t going to be just my group I reached out to my friends on my Instagram page to even help me name the group.  I wanted the group to define the group.  And IdentityME was born.

What I discovered as running this group for a few months now is that the quality of the group over the quantity is what has given this group legs.  The conversations and consistency of the women in this group, give me joy.  Everyday I wake up and see a post from someone in the club having an AH HA moment for themselves.  They are in a safe place to share it and are encouraged and given virtual big hugs and high fives.

What this group is not

A complaining fest.  You would think that because we have lost our identity, we would be in a constant state of bitterness and complaints.  It is clearly the opposite.  People are in there to inspire themselves, to pick themselves up.  This is not a rule in the group but it is clearly just the vibe. 

What kind of things do we share in the group?

When I started the group I actually sat down and envisioned what the group would look like and feel like but had no idea what type of content I would share.  But I knew the FEELINGS that I wanted for the group.

Once I had that, I knew that I did not want to create your typical Monday Motivation, Transformation Tuesday Posts.  This group was going to be different.

This group would house content of what I and the group were going through in my life, I made it my so much my mission to listen to what people were saying and create posts around this.

In the beginning it was just posts to allow people even the shy ones to step up and have fun.

I created many polls to hear what the group members were struggling with.  One of those things that members talked a lot about was the inability to journal but they knew the value in it.

I tried to run one Journal Challenge that totally flopped.  In hindsight it was confusing.  But I knew the need was still there.  So I decided it would be only 3 days in the middle of the week and it was not going to take them more than 10 minutes.  I created 3 topics to write on and I posted in the group.

THIS WAS A BULLSEYE HIT!!

So, do we talk about journaling all the time?  NOPE.  Do people want to join the group because they have seen my posts on my Bullet Book Junkie Instagram page?  YES.  But what I have found is that the same people that see the value in journaling are the same people who want to better their lives. (a post about Bullet Journaling)

Listening to my ladies brings me joy.  Making them smile brings me joy.  Sharing my own struggles makes me feel supported as if I was in someone elses group.

This group is my pride and joy and I can only hope that it grows the right way with the right people.  As I plan on nurturing it more and more everyday.

If you are looking at connecting with other like minded women, and are on the path of your own self-discovery then join the club.  We would love to have you!